my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
I just remembered that I did shots out of a gay mans crotch. And there's someone saved in my phone as "Miranda knows where my car is"
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
Randomize
