he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
Now that we have successfully procreated, I need to know we are on the same page. Please tell me you are aware that there are whole seasons of our lives that our child can NEVER be made privy to.
We should probably write this down. That's a shit load of shit.
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
Randomize
