We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
I didn't know it was possible to throw up mid-sneeze.
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
I don't know who the girl crying at my kitchen table eating gravy from the KFC container is, but I feel like she could be my soulmate
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
I'm your Election Erection Connection
I retroactively revoke all sex we've ever had.
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
Randomize
