There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
He told me he breastfed 'til he was six. That explains the obsession with me getting fake tits. Is it a red flag?
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
Randomize
