Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
I think as far as last words to bitter ex girlfriends go, "enjoy that staph infection youre about to get in your uterus" is right up there with the best
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
Randomize
