this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
Mom said you looked used
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
He wore the same cologne as my orthodontist so all I could think about was how I hadn't worn my retainer in months
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
The power of my boobs compel you
Randomize
