I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
You filled up my voicemail with a slurred but graphic depiction of how you were humping a fire hydrant.
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
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