he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
Turned the water balloon filler into a jungle juice fire extinguisher. Please call me tomorrow afternoon and make sure that i'm still alive.
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
he just fucked me for my cheese.
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
Randomize
