she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
you tried to arm wrestle for the title of "mom's favorite son"
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
No...this little piggys going to the bar
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
I made my uber driver take a pit stop between clubs so we could restock on Xanax. #priorities
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
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