Say "Steve Buscemi is hot." with a straight face.
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
Fact: Chilis at the airport in JAX will serve you shots of jack at 6:45 with breakfast. Ya I missed my flight.
So when does your new flight leave?
At my shot/hour ratio.... I leave in 16 shots. I love flying
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
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