I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
Didn't realize he fucked me in a bed a dog is always in until my face swelled two sizes and I had hives all over my body. This is God's way of punishing me for having amazing sex.
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
Randomize
