would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
Randomize
