guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
When you give the bridesmaid toast someday at my wedding I need you to quote Ricky Bobby in some form. And slip in your sister has the vagina of awesomeness. That is all.
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
I'm just letting you know right now in advance that if I die or go to the hospital or end up in jail tonight it's because your kid sold me mushrooms.
Randomize
