Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
Weird thing is that's not the first time I've been felt up by a Santa. Happens every year
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
I knew how high you were when you put a french fry in your mouth and said 'fuck, this tastes like meat but feels blue.'
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
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