just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
your brother just told me that Guinness is the first book of the Bible...
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
Randomize
