also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
Randomize
