I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
Randomize
