Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
Randomize
