I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
at church Sunday morning I dropped an M&M down my dress and it landed in my bra. I fished it out and ate it. A lot of people saw me.
Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
When I realised he had a girlfriend I just started telling them about my ex and how I write poetry about him. Which I then read to them. They just gave me pity looks and left me to finish my spliff alone.
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
So I found out me and this guy I was drinking beer with tonight both got lactated on by the same stripper. We're milk brothers.
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
Randomize
