hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
someone is gonna have my baby tonight. they just dont know it yet
I'll alert the authorities
Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
There is a such thing as a wonderpuss octopus. Officially my new favorite animal.
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
Where was Alyssa when you were sniffing the bouncer?
Passed out on some guy who looked like someone from Duck Dynasty.
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
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