He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
I went in to wake you up this morning and you had a condom draped across your throat like a necklace. There were no boys in the house last night, what were you doing?
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
Who knew I could feel anymore shameful at the bar than i usually do...I think my bartender recognizes me from the walk of shame out of his house after i hooked up with his son yesterday
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
You ever have a fart follow you around?
Randomize
