whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
i woke up today to a handjob from this really fat girl that keeps calling me michael phelps
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
You realize that if you get murdered while we're talking, I'm gonna have to explain to your next of kin why the last thing on your phone is a picture of my boobs.
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
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