i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
Randomize
