You need to stop texting me at SEVEN in the morning. It wakes my one night stands up and makes for the awkward talk way too early.
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
He gave me an ambien and I woke up with a raw chicken bone in my purse. I have no idea why but I hope I put it in his butt
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