so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
Im too awkward for one night stands. I need to hire someone to come clear them out of my bed before I wake up.
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
Drunk life lesson just learned the hard way: do not try to play hump the great dane. He may take you up on it.
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
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