So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
Randomize
