Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
No he doesn’t answer my texts except for like on New Year’s Because like I was fucked up on New Year’s and he said happy new year and I told him the same and I called him dragonslayer and you can’t really recover from that
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
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