Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
As i was walking home this morning some old lady was walking her dog and i said hello to her as our paths in life met, then i proceeded to puke in someones front yard and never looked back
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
Saw my doctor at the bar. He bought me a drink. I think he was looking up my medical record on his phone because he suddenly had to go. syphilis continues to fuck with my life
Randomize
