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So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
Today's hangover is probably top 3 of all time. Just threw up in an envelope. I'm on the ferry and didn't want to get out to puke over the side because I thought I might fall in the river.
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
Where's the chopping off someone's balls emoji
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
Randomize
