She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
My potted cactus died. I am literally less nurturing than the desert.
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
Randomize
