yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
Randomize
