its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
I wanted to dispute a few 411 charges on my phone bill. The service rep told me I called them four times asking for Lady Gaga's number.
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
Another guy on Tinder just asked about "the hotter girl" in my pictures. I fucking hate being your friend.
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
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