I created a new tequila drink. it is a mix of excitement and fear instilled in innocent people.
bar tonight had a doorbell to get in and last night i saw my neighbors fuck on the balcony, she wore a nurse outfit. Missouri isn't so bad...
so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
My roommate is on the phone with one of her friends trying to figure out how she threw up IN her pants. I'm not sure whether to burst out laughing or direct her towards Plan B.
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
Fine line between drunken accidental sleepover with your best friend's lab partner and gay sexathon. I did a cartwheel over that line. A CARTWHEEL THAT LANDED IN HIS LAP
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
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