You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
I'm sobbing to NWA
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
Randomize
