I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
He could stay over, if you'd just ask.
Yeah. What am I supposed to say? "Oh, my couch is occupied, but my vagina's not"
I, soberly, gave myself a concussion trying to take a pic of my vagina. Fuck you and your hangover.
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
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