whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
I walked up to a girl in a bar, and all I was capable of doing was taking my beer and bumping it up to hers. While doing so, all I could say was "Bud Light". She walked away.
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
Glad I can drunkenly remember to not get tomatoes on my Mexican pizza but can't tell a guy to keep his hands off my ass
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
did u drive by my house last night?
bc if that wasn't you i threw my bourbon bottle at the wrong van
Randomize
