You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
but why does your life always sound like the plot of a porn?
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
You know we had a good night last night when today I opened up my Google Translate application and the language is set to Persian and the phrase to translate is "I want you to suck my dick".
I peed in a 7/11 last night. Like literally pretended I pretended I was shopping, looked around, and peed on boxes in the corner. No more tequila
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
I'd cum for enchiladas.
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
So... I sharted on the plane. It was hard to maintain my composure and acted offended at the same time. I hate you for not cutting me off last night.
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