she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
I thought I broke my iPhone. I was almost as depressed as the day I broke my vibrator.
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
Randomize
