"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
so, I mean this in the straightest way possible, but don't you ever just feel like you owe Jon Stewart a blowjob...
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
Randomize
