She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
Just saw my neighbor passed out in his front yard, leg stretching into the road. Full beer in his hand.
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize
