need another drink. this is the easiest way
was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
I knew my chances of getting laid had increased after she walked into my room and yelled "DICK TIME"
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
I arrived home at 7am wearing nothing but my underwear and a fedora. I ate half a dozen deviled eggs. Put Katy Perry on repeat. And cried myself to sleep. We cannot go out on Thursday anymore
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
Randomize
