well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
I'm literally trying to cool beer down right now in my car by putting it on my floor and blasting cold air on it
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
Randomize
