i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
the day after is always just damage control
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
Whoa. I woke up to 10 new text messages. All about bacon.
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
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