I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
Tripping over coffee tables hurts shins but face is okay bc I landed on a sofa.
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
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