i just overheard my mom tell my dad he should drink less so he could hit the right hole
i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
My friend Julia's mom just called her to say she got a puzzle in the mail made of cheese and when she put it together it spelled FUCK YOU and she doesn't know who it's from.
I'm really busy with my period
Randomize
