I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
cab driver says "I saw your friend who opens her legs. she went home with two guys." pretty sure he was talking about you
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
Randomize
