Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
Just thought you should know in my puerto rico drunkenness yesterday I signed my dogs name on the bar tab. cruise = success
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
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