I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
Just found a note on the bed that said "Dear mittens, had to leave early I'll be back soon."
WTF? Are you mittens?
Randomize
