This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
I lost control in the snow and hit a parked car. I went into our building to get a pen and paper to leave a note and when I came back the car was gone and there was a hot girl there. I used the pen and paper to get her number.
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
Randomize
