Do you have any idea why the dryer isn't working?
Because you touch yourself at night.
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
you woke me up just to tell me that I was beautiful in every way possible. Then you proceeded to fall asleep with your mouth on my boob.
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
Randomize
