So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
Escorted out of jimmy johns because I refused to leave with my dog. Stole a loaf of bread on the way out.
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
I found a used condom and a hairbrush in my dryer this morning.
Hiring someone to do your laundry would be a good investment.
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
Let's say we can see the evolution of our "relation" by his name in my phone. Pizza slice emoticone. Pizza guy. Jordan. Jo. Jackhammer Pizza Guy. Jockhammer pizza guy.
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
Randomize
