I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
When you're a bigshot ER surgeon and I'm a starving artist, I want you to remember who held your hair last night.
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
Randomize
