why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
I think the neighbors upstairs are trying for more kids. I want to run up there and yell "mazal tov!"
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
Randomize
